


Havoc Loses His Date Yet Again

by Elsie876



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/F, Fem!Roy, First Anime AU, Gen, Genderbending, Genderswap, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 21:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsie876/pseuds/Elsie876
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riza tries to talk to Roy about dating every girl that Havoc flirts with,  but will she listen to her?  Genderswap AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Havoc Loses His Date Yet Again

**Author's Note:**

> This Genderswap AU is based on Episode 37 of the first anime and is intended to be set in between "The Bachelor Lieutenant" and "The Mystery of Warehouse 13".

Riza entered the office to find Havoc sulking yet again while Breda and Falman were busy trying not to laugh. Fuery was not at his desk so she assumed he was still meeting with the likely source of Havoc’s sulking. She sighed. 

“Who was it this time?”

Breda smirked. “A food cart girl two blocks away from headquarters.”

“The one selling calzones on Trent Street?”

“That girl’s the one,” said Falman. “A fine looking red-headed specimen of a girl, but obviously swims on the other side of the creek if you know what I mean.”

Riza knew the one. That girl had always seemed particularly giggly whenever Roy had come along and turned on the charm like she was inclined to do whenever Havoc took an interest in a girl. The girl had probably leapt at the chance to date Roy. End result: Roy got lucky while Havoc sulked. 

The problem with that was they all had work to do. Riza took a folder out of her arms and dropped it on Havoc’s desk. 

“This needs to be done by the end of today.”

Breda and Falman continued to smirk, but their smiles didn’t last long when she dropped equally heavy folders on their desks. 

“You, too. Now get to work.”

Falman and Havoc went right to work. Only Breda protested.

“What about Fuery?”

“Don’t worry, Lieutenant. He’s getting his work from the Colonel.”

Breda gulped and said nothing more as he opened the folder and began reading the reports. Riza sat down to do her own work until Fuery emerged. A few minutes later, Fuery stumbled out with a slump and his own thick folder of paperwork. Riza took that as her chance to speak to the Colonel. 

Sure enough, the Colonel was relaxing at her desk when Riza came in. 

“Permission to speak freely, sir.”

“Permission granted, Lieutenant.”

“It’s about Lieutenant Havoc, sir.”

“What about him?”

“He’s sulking again.”

“It’s not my fault he keeps crushing on queer girls. What do you want me to do, send a memo out to all the queer girls in Central telling them not to send out any signals he could interpret as flirting to my idiot lieutenant?”

“No, but perhaps you ought to stop stealing every girl he flirts with.”

Roy laughed. “Why? I’ve never had so many dates before he joined my staff. I should promote him for ‘special services to his Colonel’ for all the dates he’s given me.”

Riza sighed. With her short black hair framing her face, tall and muscular body, ample chest, and her charm, Roy was the sort of butch lesbian many other women would love to date. Riza imagined that Roy would have no trouble finding an attractive woman to date without Havoc’s help. 

“Besides,” continued Roy, “Last time I set up a date for him, he sulked around the office for a week.”

Technically, it was actually Falman and Major Armstrong who had carried out that particular assignment, but Riza let it slide. If Roy wanted to take credit for that debacle, so be it. 

“It’s not as if it’s easy to find other queer girls to date. Havoc just needs to learn to interpret the signals properly like I had to.”

Riza had to bite her tongue. She could tell Roy a thing or two about how hard it was to find a decent date as a queer woman, but doing so could be a potential distraction for Roy so she kept silent and let their relationship stay professional. 

“In any case, I have work to do and so do you. Dismissed.”

 

That was just like Roy. Riza doubted she’d do much in the way of work, either. She’d probably wash the windows and dust her office for the thousandth time, nap for another two hours and then rush to complete everything at the last minute. Arguing now would be pointless. 

Riza returned to her work and buried herself in it until it was time for everyone to leave work. It wasn’t as if the others were discussing anything important. The last time she bothered to listen, they were talking about the fabled Warehouse 13 and other such ghost stories. She did nothing to stop them: it was not as if there was any real news right now. 

Edward and Alphonse were away most likely searching for a new lead down in the south, all leads in the Hughes case had dried up and Liore continued to be the same mess. She and Roy expected that the Fuhrer would soon send more troops to Liore to put down the insurrection, but for now, they just had to wait. No wonder Roy was going on so many dates. 

As usual, she and Roy were the last people to leave. By the time the others had left, Roy was still at her desk frantically signing papers while Riza waited to deliver them to General Hakuro’s office. Riza usually used this time to look over the schedule for the next day’s work, but tonight she just wanted to go home. Riza focused on not letting her impatience show as she waited for Roy to finish signing the documents. 

“Take these down to the old man and don’t worry about locking up. You’re dismissed.”

Riza stood and saluted her. “Sir.”

She took the documents down to General Hakuro’s office as usual and left. When she got home, Black Hayate was sitting by the door when she got home waiting for his evening walk. He knew better than to whine, but he sat down and gave a her such a pleading look with his puppydog eyes that Riza knew that it would not be a good idea to put the walk off any longer. 

While she was walking him in the local park, she saw them. Roy and the calzone girl were walking along the opposite side of the park, arms intertwined and heads close together. Riza looked away and hoped that they did not see her.

“Come, Black Hayate. We’re leaving.”

As she was walking back home, she resolved to make time for target practice tomorrow to get her mind off that infuriating woman.


End file.
